Dr. Joy Davids, an American therapist specializing in sex therapy, has made special observations and studies on the language of men and women in sex. Would you tell your partner how you feel?
Dr. Joy Davids, an American therapist specializing in sex therapy, has made special observations and studies on the language of men and women in sex. She found that many people often speak insincerely or inadequately when it comes to their own or their partner’s reproductive organs, or even do not want to use some “sexy” words. Men are relatively good at giving names with love or reproductive organs while women are slightly inferior in this aspect and often do not know how to start a conversation.
In the process of making love, communication between both parties is even worse. Fearing to hurt each other’s self-esteem, partners often choose to keep silent about their dissatisfaction. This problem is particularly prominent for women because they bear greater cultural pressure, one side thinking that talking about sex or reproductive organs will be viewed as dirty and indecent; On the other hand, compared with men, women have higher dependence on emotions, so sometimes they would rather sacrifice their own feelings in order to maintain a long-term relationship.
From the point of view of a sex therapist, these psychological restrictions can affect people’s ability to fully express their desires and requirements in bedtime happiness. Surveys show that disharmony sexual life has become the number one killer of marriage.
Actually both men and women should learn how to directly and boldly express their feelings about sex and expectations. For women if they want soul-stirring sexual pleasure they can try telling their partners what they really want him to try out ways and techniques. The more natural people talk about body and sex usually have higher quality sexual pleasure which will also promote the depth development between couples’ emotions. Those who cannot naturally talk smoothly about sexual life are more likely to encounter problems with it.
Therefore if you want your sexual needs met then you need to let your partner know what you need from them. This kind of communication may sometimes bring some embarrassment but as long as you master the skills involved then not only can you get better sex but also enhance your relationship with each other at the same time .
Relax like playing a game Partners can discuss through playing games but “taking turns” is a very good communication strategy . For example say something like “over the next half hour he can ask for whatever he wants from me” then it his turn for him to satisfy whatever request I have for him . This game makes it easier for you direct him towards understanding your preferences . To him these are parts of a game instead of criticism so there is no worry of hurting his “self” .
Speak clearly Many people feel uneasy when touching upon deep inner desire for sexuality . You may worry like what would he think about me , will my actions shock him ? In fact , faced with beloved woman , men really wanted please them , seeing partner getting satisfied in sexual action could be an important part for them gaining self satisfaction or building up self esteem . The problem lies on many times man just keep sexy jokes around mouth but actually don’t understand female body well enough . So why not start off small things first ? As clear as possible , just say something like “I want you kiss me more” isn’t clear enough so specify when “you should kiss me more” , at which part “you should kiss more” -for example “I like it when u strongly kisses my lips right before reaching climax” this way even most clueless husband won’t misunderstand anything being said