Making love is like driving or swimming, it requires constant practice. It usually takes two people to make love and you need to be familiar with each other’s bodies and needs in order to have perfect sexual intercourse. If your boyfriend has difficulty ejaculating during lovemaking, you can only achieve climax by hand! Is it a ejaculatory dysfunction?
Question: I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months, we are quite compatible in terms of personality and interests but when it comes to making love, I feel helpless and frustrated. No matter how hard I try to cooperate, he still finds it hard to ejaculate and at the end I often have to resort to self-pleasuring in order to reach orgasm. We’ve had dozens of sex sessions over the past few months but he has never once ejaculated inside me; instead his climax always ends up on his hands – as if he doesn’t want me or anyone else outside our little bubble of pleasure.
It really depresses me that no matter how hard I try or however much effort I put in, I am no match for his two hands and their ten brothers. Am I being too jealous? Somehow, this issue has begun to bother me more and more and one time I even forced him to see a doctor but he adamantly refused, insisting that there was nothing wrong with him. Could this be delayed ejaculation? What should I do? His hands are better than mine!
Answer: Sigh! Some things can’t be forced; your boyfriend had probably been relying on his own hands since before you two met. It is true that one knows their own physiology best and can fully control their point of peak sensitivity perfectly – knowing where they feel it and how much pressure is needed.
If you’re smart enough not to compete with your boyfriend’s hands as they will certainly win every time, the best way forward is communication and practice during lovemaking – initiate conversations and ask what would help him reach climax sooner.
It seems like both of you have only been together for a short period of time so it is understandable that neither of you would be familiar with the other’s bodies yet which makes perfect sexual intercourse quite impossible despite all efforts from both sides.
As for whether this could be delayed ejaculation – based on your description it does not seem so as your boyfriend could still rely on his own hands for climaxing; though even if this were the case currently there are no medications available that can help improve such an ejaculatory dysfunction situation.
Normally male ejaculation is a result of accumulated excitement throughout an uninterrupted cycle – should one become distracted or interrupted along the way then libido will slowly burn out until reignited again before restarting back up again; Therefore it may simply be a case of unfamiliarity with each other’s bodies rather than any lack of charm from your side – don’t despair though because with enough patience and exploration soon enough both parties will be able find each others ‘hot spots’ allowing him bypass having to self-pleasure himself anymore